keeps_a_cool_head | Log 0018

Log 0018 - [Video]

[Someone is in an angry sort of mood, given post-flood shenanigans. Scorpius is keeping himself relatively calm by usual standards, but he's tense and bristling when he makes his post]

I should like the permission of a warden to work in the lab today.

[All day. Because hell if he's going to deal with emotions.]

[Private to Horatio]

I believe I owe you an apology. The responsibility of my flooded self lies with me.

[Private to Stephanie]

Thank you for keeping the situation under manageable control.

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And nothing I say can entice you to try?

Are you able to tell when I'm lying, Stephanie?

[ There's probably something. Even just the simple act of wheedling her makes her a little more pliable. He just seems to want it so bad. ]

No. I kinda just assume it's most of the time.

[ So no, she doesn't believe you when you say you've never lied to her. She is not nearly so trusting as she likes to appear. ]

I omit details and obscure facts. But I have never directly lied to you. Deception, while sometimes a necessity, is something I have a history of disliking.

What would it take to convince you I was telling the truth?

It's not as much about truth as it is about motive. The best lies are based in truth, you know? Any kid old enough to form complete sentences knows that.

[The answer is intelligent, and it surprises him. He hadn't expected that level of subtlety from his goofy warden]

Yes, they are.

Then according to you, my graduation is not whether I deceive; it's for which reasons.

[ Surprise! Your energetic young warden is secretly a mature adult. ]

More or less. I think not manipulating people all the time probably has something to do with it too.

Manipulation is a method of survival. Perhaps in your world it's different; in the world I occupy, not being the one operating the strings means that someone is operating yours.

I'm not sure why you're so convinced my world is all sunshine and rainbows. I'm from Gotham. The only reason we're not a nuclear wasteland is because Nightwing happened to move to Bludhaven.

And you wish to argue against the benefit of manipulation? Have you ever even tried it?

[It's great, bro. You should try manipulating more. You'd love it.]

I'm 18, of course I've manipulated people. But listen, I've been manipulated my whole life.

[ Her words are adamant, but her tone is matter of fact. This is what life in her world is like. ]

I was a hostage to my dad, a warm body to my boyfriend, an alibi to my teachers, a faulty tool to my childhood hero, a distraction to the love of my life, a toy to Black Mask. I've been traded, abandoned, strung along, lied to, trapped, tortured. I was told all my life that I was worthless, that justice and freedom and normalcy was for everyone else, that if I didn't color inside the lines I'd be beaten, abused, or killed. And you know what? Fuck that. And fuck everyone that treats other people like that, too.

[Stepping down from the chair, Scorpius approaches Stephanie, looking her over as she speaks. It's odd, listening to her speak candidly about her past. Much of it mirrors his own in ways he prefers not to articulate. But what's curious about her is that she's found a way she prefers to live that doesn't include revenge. Or maybe it's because she took her revenge already and only then got to have her redemption. His was cut short. And the threat still exists out there, so the situations are not entirely the same.

Idly, he bends down to pick up one of her ridiculous little stuffed toys, looking it over]

When you sent your abusers to meet their fates, how did it feel?

And how would you feel knowing that they were still out there, coming after you?

[ She blinks, briefly confused by the question. Most of those people she never got revenge on, or wouldn't want it. But then she knows what answer he's looking for. ]

For a long time I was afraid to go home because I knew Black Mask would be waiting there for me, and everyone else would be there with all their disappointment. Even if I made it through I thought, I've lost everything, so what's the point?

When I finally graduated, I had to put away the idea that I would kill him myself. I knew that I was strong enough to get away if I needed to, and that was just what I had to do.

But then he got a hold of someone I care about. There wasn't any time to think about it, I had to make a choice then and there. If I hadn't just taken a gun away from a gangbanger... [ She wouldn't have shot Black Mask. Maybe Babara would be dead. Maybe Steph would be dead. She doesn't know. ]

It wasn't a good feeling. It didn't make me feel safe. I felt like now I was the danger, and I'd thrown away everything I had only just gotten back.

Revenge seldom feels good, Stephanie. Murder no matter the case, unless you are completely psychopathic, doesn't bring you joy.

[But he still would do it, and gladly, even if it ruins his own life. This is what his life was purposed for]

But sometimes it is a necessity. You may argue about choice, but in the end it may come down to only two choices: living, or dying.

[ For once she just nods, soberly. He's absolutely right, about revenge, and about choices. Killing Black Mask involved neither, really. ]

What were you expecting me to say? That I shot him the first chance I got? If I'd done that I wouldn't have died. [ She lets out a single harsh "hah" as the irony hits her. ] That just goes to show you how badly I screwed everything up.

From my perspective, you did not..'screw everything up.'

[Look at him, copying human vernacular.]

Or if you did, then you are swiftly on your way to repairing matters.

You are alive now. This counts for something.

[ Now that makes her smile. A little deviously, even. ]

Are you trying to encourage me? That's downright sweet.

[He bends down to give Stephanie back her beanie baby cat, his gaze completely impenetrable]

No. But I did tell you I don't make a habit of lying.

[ She takes the cat back and turns it to face him, moving the head up and down with one finger so it seems to be the one talking. ]

You were totally trying to encourage me.

[A dry pause, before Scorpius turns back to the Chair to finish his ministrations]

I was. Now I'm in severe doubt I should ever have tried.

[ She is just going to sit here happily with the knowledge that she has won some sort of victory. She's not totally sure what kind, but its definitely a victory. ]

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Log 0018 - [Video]

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Private; cw: abuse...?

Private; cw: abuse...?

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